Originally, this blog was going to be an outlet for me to list and discuss all the things that I’ve “banned”. I’m somewhat of a malcontent, so on any given day I can find something that would annoy me enough to ban it entirely, or at least until I forgot why I’ve banned it, which was the case for the Dunkin’ Donuts that is closest to my house.
Other things that I have banned are pretty tame, like giving/going/doing anything over 100%, or doing something beyond the designated scale (like, if I say “on a scale of one to ten, how much does this hurt?” and you say “thirteen!” it doesn’t make your situation more painful than anyone else’s, it just makes you an asshole who literally blows things out of proportion). Sometimes I’ll want to ban a person or a word or a phrase (so, if Bill O’Reilly was on air talking about his ‘staycation’ I may very well blow a gasket). One day I realized I was banning things left and right and I thought that I should provide a service to mankind by collecting and sharing my wisdom.
It soon became clear, however, that a blog solely covering the topic of the things that I’ve banned was too narrow even for me. Instead it is going to be about...whatever I want, because it’s mine. Maybe I’ll discuss things that I’ve banned here and there, or perhaps I will talk about something else that is annoying/perplexing/fantastic. Whatever the topic, it probably won’t be enlightening (and most likely not punctuated correctly, either, since I punctuate by how things sound and not necessarily according to any kind of E.B. White-sanctioned rules), but will hopefully be entertaining enough. You know as they said around the Seinfeld writers’ table: No Hugs, No Learning. For me, that’s as good of a guideline as any.
Other things that I have banned are pretty tame, like giving/going/doing anything over 100%, or doing something beyond the designated scale (like, if I say “on a scale of one to ten, how much does this hurt?” and you say “thirteen!” it doesn’t make your situation more painful than anyone else’s, it just makes you an asshole who literally blows things out of proportion). Sometimes I’ll want to ban a person or a word or a phrase (so, if Bill O’Reilly was on air talking about his ‘staycation’ I may very well blow a gasket). One day I realized I was banning things left and right and I thought that I should provide a service to mankind by collecting and sharing my wisdom.
It soon became clear, however, that a blog solely covering the topic of the things that I’ve banned was too narrow even for me. Instead it is going to be about...whatever I want, because it’s mine. Maybe I’ll discuss things that I’ve banned here and there, or perhaps I will talk about something else that is annoying/perplexing/fantastic. Whatever the topic, it probably won’t be enlightening (and most likely not punctuated correctly, either, since I punctuate by how things sound and not necessarily according to any kind of E.B. White-sanctioned rules), but will hopefully be entertaining enough. You know as they said around the Seinfeld writers’ table: No Hugs, No Learning. For me, that’s as good of a guideline as any.
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